These last few months have been crazy hectic. With Charles and I trying for children and buying a new house, I've spent a lot of time looking into the lives and lifestyles of my friends and loved ones. Nothing bad, I just like to admire their courage and strength. Some of my friends that have had babies, came out and told the world that they were pregnant right off the bat... some wait for a few months... and some don't even tell anyone until they show up on your doorstep with a baby. However they do it, the ones who come right out have much more courage than I do. The ones who wait to tell, I'm taking notes. And the ones who don't tell anyone, I don't understand why you wouldn't!?
When I found out I was pregnant with this last one, the EDD was 11-13-08... Charles and I spent nights talking about if we wanted to tell people or not... we even discussed whether or not we would even get excited... well, we decided to go ahead and get excited and tell some close friends. We figured that if we kept shut and didn't get excited, we were only expecting a loss. So we swallowed our fears and held our heads high and proudly told our close friends... only to discover that we would lose the baby just 2 weeks later... Our first pregnancy ended in a molar pregnancy . It was quite scary considering the cancer risk involved. I had a suction D&C to remove the contents of my uterus. The tests came back negative, thank goodness. This time, I had to save the "tissue" I passed and take it in. Talk about humiliation... it was horrible. But the pathology report came back negative for a molar pregnancy, WOO! My doctor told me NOT TO try again for over 6 months. This means I'm not allowed to try again until about late September, early October. Charles and I will be spending the first year of our marriage by ourselves. It's quite the blessing... but we are kinda bummed about not getting to at least share some of it with a big baby belly.
We have prayed and pondered about this for the last week and we both came up with the conclusion that Heavenly Father wants us to try because He knows we're going to fail a couple tries. We're taking this loss very well. Surprisingly. It's hard to say why, but we are okay with it. It's crazy hectic with getting packed and getting rid of stuff that's unneeded.
On a lighter note, I'm going to use this time to get back into shape and lose all the marriage-weight I've gained! I wanna look half way decent in a swimming suit! I hope to regain my muscle and get physically healthy and ready for our future babies!
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